Nut-Brown Grandmas

My mom read my last entry and said, "Anne, you will never be a nut-brown grandma. You are too fair-skinned."

She is right. In fact, she is actually the nut-brown Grandma. See her picture?

She is still chic. Great hair, great skin, somehow eternally young-looking in her khaki shorts and New Balance tennies.

And truly, we all want to look good, you know, in our 30s, 4os, 50s, 60s. We dress attractively, we spend time on our hair, and put on muted make up when we go to church. We wear heels occasionally. But there comes an age when, aside from working to be healthy, it is time to just be comfortable.

My mom thinks I will be a pink Grandma one day when I am old, because I am fair. So, below, I will amend my Grandma statements accordingly.

I do believe in my 70s or 80s I will become a soft, wrinkly pink Grandma with some freckles, and some face powder, a flowered dress, and pale blue cardigan, and very comfortable shoes with rubbery soles and laces. I may wear red lipstick because a person gets to do whatever they want at that age, and red is pretty and cheerful. Or I may wear pink pearl lipstick! or I may wear no lipstick.

I intend to maintain my health by briskly walking! I have good role models for this. My own Navy grandma was a great example, walking the track briskly every day to keep herself strong and fit. But also I expect to become a bit squishier around the middle, so that when grandchildren lean on me, it is soft there. I will let my hair be simple, I will wash it with a nice, fruity shampoo, brush it out until it is soft, and not think about it again.

When I was growing up, my red-haired Iowa grandma always had fragrant lotions on the little tables in her bathrooms. So I too will wear lotions from the Avon lady, choosing all the ones that smell nice to me.

I will invite the Avon lady in the house to visit and sit and listen to her, and buy some of her products, and I will take my time smelling them all while the cookies I made with real butter cook in the oven. No Smart Balance for me anymore, when I am 70! I will keep little tubes and bottles around the house for all of my granddaughters to rub on their hands and arms, and dishes of costume jewelry for them to play with.

I will keep my wedding rings and give the other nice jewelry to my daughter and daughters-in-law. The young women should have diamonds and gold, for I intend to wear a short strand of fake pearls every day because I like them, and when I am in my 70s, it won't matter if that is appropriate for the grocery store any more.

I will invite Mormons in the house and give them tracts and make a deal to read their tracts if they read mine. And they'll get cookies, too. Cookies for everyone!

There will be strawberries and blueberries at my house for breakfast, and I will eat 2 eggs every morning. Like my Iowa grandma did, I will have little cut glass dishes of gum drops around for grandchildren.

In my 60s I will take grandchildren on trips to interesting places. But in my 70s I might go to Africa, once I am an older Grandma, and be a missionary at a village with AIDS children who need to be loved, or I might go to an orphanage in Asia or Romania and hold orphaned babies all day if they'll let me. I might have gotten a nursing degree by then, and I might go to South America and help children who need healthcare and a nice, loving lap to sit on. Or I might stay right here in America and sit with very old, lonely people stuck in their wheelchairs and listen to them. They can tell me whatever they want to tell me for as long as they want to tell it. I've got no where to be!

I will carry a big bag with inside pockets full of lifesavers, gum, tissues, a deck of cards, and crayons and paper for children who need to be amused. I will learn how to make fun things out of a simple handkerchief. Also in my bag I will carry McDonalds dollar coupons for homeless people, a good book, and a dollar to give to children I know sometimes. I will ride my bike to the grocery and walk around the block every evening. I will have a cat, if David lets me. (He'll be working as an usher at a baseball stadium when he is 70; taking tickets and talking statistics.)

You know, there is a lot to look forward to, when you grow older!